That’s how it is

‘I would rather have it differently
But that’s how it is
What if
And if I had only
And what if we this and would it now
That may be but
It doesn’t help
That’s how it is’
Guillaume Van der Stighelen

Despite the amount of beautiful quotes on death I found on the internet, none of them was really fitting for what I want to say. Until recently, I hadn’t really come into close contact with death. That was, until that dreaded phone call my dad got from  his oldest friend on the morning of July 17th. Their son had been taken from them in a stupid accident and there was nothing anyone could do about it. It came as a shock to everyone. He was a talented, good-looking, funny and overall an amazing guy who had just finish his studies to become an engineer and was (sometimes overly) obsessed with the environment. No one deserves to die, but least of all him, that is what everyone said. The days that followed were really hard on me, and sometimes that made me feel like an idiot, because even though I knew him, it had been a long time since we had seen each other for the last time and I’m sad to admit that I didn’t know him as well as I’d like to. Our families travelled a lot together when we were younger since we were all around the same age and our parents shared a mutual interest in the United States.
But even though he was no longer a part of my daily life, he was my friend, and I will always cherish the many memories we have together.
After a couple of days I realized that even though him dying was hard on me, the fact that made me so sad was thinking about his family. He had a brother and a sister, and he got along really well with his sister, who is two years younger than him. Just like him, I am the middle child, and even though I don’t get along with my younger sister as well as he did, the thought of her (or my older sister for that matter) dying, makes me incredibly sad. Dying is a sad thing, but the worst part about it is the effect is has on other people’s lives. His brother, sister and parents have to try to make the best of their lives without him there, and it’s that which probably saddens me the most. And I know he didn’t commit suicide, and that there could have been plenty before him to have that kind of accident, but sometimes, that also makes me mad at him, because he left his family behind to deal with that kind of loss and that kind of sadness. But, like my title says, that’s how it is, and there’s nothing I can do about it except be there for his family in the best way I can and help them in any way to recover from this horrible event. And of course, honor who we was and what he already had accomplished in his short period of time on earth and try to accomplish his dream for him, just in case he is watching down upon us.

He’ll always be in my heart and I am truly grateful that I got the chance to know him.

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